Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
