This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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