I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
