So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
