just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
