His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
