Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Do you remember whose house we're in?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
