i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
