speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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