I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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