I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
