Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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