you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
