I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
