why didn't you poke me back
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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