i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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