I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Ladies don't puke and tell
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