I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize