My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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