I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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