She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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