Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
