we're blogging at a bar
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
