help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
