I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
