I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
