I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
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What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm both gender and math confused
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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