Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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