Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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