Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I understand Curling. That high.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
