We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I touched a dick in church today
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
