4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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