I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
