my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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