I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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