Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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