hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
