I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Randomize
