hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
