i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
