I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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