does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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