the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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