apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
