True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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