you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize