I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
