i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
