i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
