he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
