everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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