I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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