You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
