I'm passing your future prison.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
