he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
