Your mouth is God's brothel.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
