I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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