When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
home. puking in laundry basket.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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