i just wanna soil my oats bro
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
