She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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