i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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